Troy - just shoot me now and get it over with

Ok, so it's 1:25 in the morning and I just got home from seeing Troy at the local cinematorium. By all rights I should be heading to bed but this was such a spectacular failure of a movie that I have to rant a bit first.

I'll refrain from bitching about plot points, since I never read the source material, though as I understand things the changes were significant and for the most part detrimental. Luckily for me the movie was a looser in every sense of the word, so I have plenty to chew on. It was so bad in fact, that I feel the need to assign blame on a personal level. So everyone who made the list, congratulations, and everyone that didn't, rest assured I'll be burning you in effigy later.

Wolfgang Peterson (Director): Well, it only seems right that I should start with the captain of this particular shipwreck. Honestly, aside from "hey, the Lord Of the Rings had really cool CGI battle scenes", I don't know what the hell he was thinking. Every decision, from top to bottom, was a mistake. Brad Pitt as a Greek? Uh, ok, why not? More CGI army shots than you can count? Well, if 2 worked for LOTR, then 15 must be better. About the only thing he did right was cast Eric Bana as Hector (although if something doesn't change soon, I'm gonna start thinking Eric Bana = Kiss of Death for a movie). But did we really need 3 huge pull-backs to show us the CGI fleet? Five (that's right, five) arial shots of the CGI Greek army marching? CG is cool. We get it.

Roger Pratt (Cinematography): Well, since this movie doesn't give anyone the Director of Photography credit, I'm gonna lump that in here. To anyone who has ever wondered if it's possible to shoot an epic movie on the beautiful beaches of Mexico and get absolutely zero sense of scope, I give you Roger Pratt. There's really nothing wrong with an establishing shot, honest. Go ahead, put a few in, give it a try. It lets the fucking audience get a feel for the environment you British fucktard! I got no sense of what Troy looked like, no sense of what the landscape looked like, nothing. Also, prior to the torture-fest tonight, I didn't think it was possible to shoot an entire battle with close-ups. I guess we were just supposed to infer what was going on based on Brad Pitt's limited range of expressions. I do have to give Roger some credit though, the shot of the sun dawning over the Greek encampment was so cool. Not so cool that we needed to see it twice in 20 minutes, but whatever.

Peter Honess (Editor): In all fairness there's a good chance this movie had a lot of last minute editing done to it. At least that's what I'm hoping is the case, cause if it isn't Peter doesn't know how to put together a scene. I realize the movie is pretty long, but you can't just cut off the beginning and ending of scenes and not expect the audience to be jarred. There was only about 10 people in the theater tonight but you could audibly hear people voicing their confusion as things would jump around. A little tip for you Pete, you know what the mark of good editing is in a movie like this? You don't notice it. Cheesy made-for-tv style zooms win you no points.

James Horner (Score): You know, four hours ago I wouldn't have thought that it was possible for a score to be pretentious. But here I sit, a wiser and more humble man. Worst. Music. Ever. When you try to use the music to make every scene feel more epic and overly important, you accomplish nothing. There needs to be low moments to compliment the high ones, otherwise you just have a din that goes on for three hours and makes your ears bleed. If one were to believe the music they would think every battle was going to be the last one. You just become numb to it after a while.

Ok, I think that's about enough. I'm not even gonna touch the acting, except to say this. Brad Pitt, phoning it in. Orlando Bloom, gayest performance ever (and I mean that in every homosexual sense of the word). Brian Cox, trying his hardest with absolutely nothing to work with. Peter O'Toole, giving the "big eyes" method of acting a shot. Ok, I better stop, otherwise I'll just go on and on and on...

Just please, in the name of all that is holy, don't go see this movie.

So I says to Mabel I says...

So it occurs to me that I don't really have much to post about, but since I haven't posted in a few days, I figure what the hell...

First off, going way back, Yohei, I thought about what you said concerning republicans and some issues being "too big" to stick to underlying party lines. All I can say in response is it's easy to stick by your principles when nothing is at stake. What value do they have if some things are "too important" for them?

Secondly, let me just say that iTunes rocks. You know why? Because every week there is a new single available for free on the iTunes music store. I missed the second week, but so far all the rest have been good songs. Definitely worth checking out at least.

Other than that, the only thing I have to report is that I finally got to go back to a ballplayers apartment. I was back in Matsui's yesterday, installing a surround sound system and a stand for his tv and audio/video stuff. He obviously wasn't there, (what with the road trip and all) but it was still cool to poke around. The plasma tv stand he got (which must have weighed 100 pounds) was from a great company call Bell'O. They're Italian and make the best a/v stands there are. In case you're curious here's what you get to compliment a $20,000 television. Since the stand basically uses a clamp system to secure the tv, I was more than a little nervous when I first clamped it in. Visions of years of post-crash indentured servitude were flashing before my eyes. But luckily everything worked out, and Matsui now has the kick ass-est (I know it's not a word, I don't care) system I've ever seen. Hell of a job I have.

Want to hear the real crime of all this? $20,000 television, $1500 stand, $800 surround sound system, and it's all hooked together with the cheap-ass RCA cables that they come with. No progressive scan from the DVD player, no Dolby Digital from the digital cable, nothing. In fact, the cable box is hooked into the tv with a regular coax cable! I wanted to cry. I know Matsui probably doesn't care (or even know the difference) but I'm still pushing to get the good cables in there just on principle. C'mon, you've already spent over $22,000 on a home theater, spend the extra $40 on the cables!!

I know, I'm a snob, but I don't care. I hate wasted potential in a movie watching experience.

I'm outtie, Sweet, have a good trip. And Dave, I don't know about anyone else, but I don't like this template, there must be a better one?

Mange-tout.

Sweet:

If you don't go to Schwartz's for smoked meat, don't show your face on this blog ever again.

Also:
French. steaks, fries, salad, soup for 16 canadian dollars: L'Entrecote St. Jean at 2022 Peel (corner Maisonneuve)
French. A little pricier perhaps, but a great restaurant: L'Express on St. Denis (corner Duluth)
Italian: great place, cozy, always packed: Eduardo's: Duluth, just east of St. Denis
Japanese: cheap sushi, pretty good: Isakaya: 3469 Parc, around Milton
Burgers: Best in town. La Paryse: 302 Ontario, corner St. Denis
Burgers+Frites: tiny shack, great cheap food. Patati Patata: 4177 St. Laurent, corner Rachel.
Chinese: My favorite Chinese restaurant in the world. 1077 Clark in Chinatown, down from Rene-Levesque.
Breakfast (as mentioned): Place Milton: Milton, close to Jeanne-Mance.

Have a great weekend!

For sports enthusiasts.

Warning: very high quality
Just click on the image to go to the next slide...of the Brazilian national soccer team. Enjoy.

What to do with that pesky first-born.

Oh yeah, and this.

It seems I can only speak in links today. Sorry.

I thought it was complementary towards Hispanics.

The blog seems to be doing that thing were it becomes 'not found', but I figured I'd post this because it made me chuckle.
What will those ad executives think of next?

Placido Seinfeld

Random thought that I dwelled on at work today: I saw on 60 Minutes yesterday a piece on Placido Domingo -- apparently, it's recorded in the Guiness Book of World Records that Domingo holds the record for the longest applause for any kind of performance -- a continuous 1 hour and 20 minutes of applause and 101 curtain calls. I'm sorry but that's just the coolest thing ever, almost inconcievable. That's applause for roughly the length of a short movie. OK.

Paul -- I think they're rerunning the final Friends episode. After a Seinfeld special. Don't know if it's new Seinfeld material, but the commercials make it look like it is.

Meet the new blog, same as the old blog.

Um, so blogger has a bunch of new templates. I picked one, but it didn't seem to work right. Then I picked another. It also malfunctioned. So I then picked this one. It's not bad, right? The thing is that I can't go back to the old template, because it's not available anymore for some reason. So, we're stuck with one of the new ones...

Nish--was it 13 years ago?

A day that will live in infamy

I'd just like to make a note of something amazing that happened today. I don't remember it ever happening before in all my years, and I know there's a good chance it won't happen again. So I just had to make a record of it, cause I know that years from now people probably won't believe it ever happened.

Today, on Monday May the seventeenth, in the two thousand and fourth year of our Lord, Nishant Menon was in last in fantasy baseball:



PS - Anyone ever try to find a place that will let you hotlink to photos for free? It's impossible...

Affleck, you the bomb in Phantoms yo!!

Well, it was a very Kevin Smith weekend. I don't know why, but I was bored on Friday (I didn't have to work because the lady that we getting the installation had a flood in her living room) so I watched the Mallrats commentary. Well, after that it was off to the races and I watched the Chasing Amy and Dogma commentaries as well. Man, I hadn't seen Dogma in years, I barely remembered what happened.

I am that special kind of dork that will watch a commentary more often than the actual film.

So Beth and Takasihi's wedding. I'd let Willy fill you guys in since he was more in "the know" than I was, but with all he's got going on I doubt he'll have time in the near future.

The ceremony was very nice, albeit short. I was doing the video for the wedding and I started the camera when the official processional began and cut it when everyone started filing out. Total time: 42 minutes. Leave it to the protestants to cut all the ceremony out of a wedding ceremony :) It was at Sparta Presbyterian, so it was nice and close, and an old family friend who later became a minister performed the ceremony.

Then it was on to LMCC for the reception. There was a very nice setup there, although with the pictures and everything we ended up having 2 hours to kill before the groom was announced. So around 7:45 the actual reception proper started (wedding was at 4) and there was a lot going on. Tak had two best men (his best friend and his brother) so there were 2 toasts, and then Tak's niece and family (her husband is an indian chief) performed a ceremonial song that was very cool. The only reason I bitch about the length is because I know have to edit an hour and 40 minutes of tape down to about 35 minutes. Fun fun. After that we got the usual dinner/dancing routine that everyone loves about a wedding.

Now, a personal note. I know all of you have girlfriends, so this doesn't really apply, but let me just tell you how much it sucks to go to a wedding by yourself. Thank god I had the video to do, or I would have killed myself (although I did get a lot of strange comments when I sat down to dinner. "Aren't you the videographer" and things of that nature), but it was still kinda rough. Luckily Tom Palmiere and his date were very gracious and entertained me all night, so I had someone to talk to. Maybe this is just me bitching about being single, but it sucks, so I bitch.

Other than that my weekend was pretty slow. I mean, the wedding tied me up all day on Saturday, but I didn't do too much today except help my parents spread 15 yards of mulch. And if that doesn't sound like a lot, I'll tell you that the pile was roughly the same size as a Geo Metro. So yeah, it took a while. Alright, that's about all I got, so I'm off to watch the season finale of Charmed on the TiVo....

I'll make it through the day

Three honest questions: does whiskey become bearable after time; does that surge of isopropanol-like horrible air that gushes through your nose ever go away or do you just start not minding it, or do you start relishing it; does that terrible, sweet, heavy taste that sits on your tongue after drinking some whiskey ever become bearable, or do you start not minding it, or do you start to relish it?

I just had a shot to, as Mario Batali says in his Babbo cookbook, take some of the New York City edge off, calm the inner angst (is there any other kind?). I've been biking the fourteen miles from 99th St. to Battery Park City and back for fun, and I've been considering a more efficient, less watery way (beer) to calm the NYC edge/angst.

I was totally baffled at the liquor store, somewhere I almost never set foot in, so I went with Johnny Walker Red. Elliott Smith was not just a staggering genius of songwriting...he comes in handy in real pragmatic ways too. Nobody, to my knowledge, wrote a song mentioning White Zinfandel.

My last entry for this tonight, I promise.

I'm pretty sure they'd find a fair amount of fuzzy dice at a Jersey Shore cleanup, though...

So we were walking, on this gorgeous day, on Lafayette today in the E. Village and we see a black Rolls Royce convertible (!) (Rolls Royce! Convertible!) pull over and stop for some dude ahead of us who they start talking to. Must be a friend of the driver or the passenger. Who's the guy in the passenger seat in a pink baseball cap and pink polo shirt, all preppy-lookin? Russell Simmons! Hairless wrinkly man in his own weird ass get up (so strange to see an old man in preppy boys' wear), most likely from his very own Phat Farm. In a Rolls Royce convertible! (HOLY SHIT! The car, not Simmons). We couldn't make out who the driver was though -- we didn't look again. Had to be unfazable New Yorkers who after recognizing who it was, ignore the whole thing -- we had places to go...on our way to have a Japanese snack, octopus in dough fritter thingy -- and keep on walking (and then gush about it later in a blog).

Another celebrity sighting about a month ago, on the way from friend's apt. to Gray's Papaya (I'm still all class) on the Upper West Side: Steve Martin covered up in baseball cap and sunglasses, and I think dog. Much more exciting than Russel Simmons.

And every Friday at work, Simon Schama, a man who does not stop talking (really really loud, almost announcing) or cracking jokes. I have the glorious administrative task of helping him open his classroom door (old lock, old key).

While we're on the topic, I have a new way of cooking corn on the cob, which is everywhere in all stores now that it's warm. A few weeks ago, craving summer and grilled food in our little apartment, I decided to broil the corn. Nothing wrong with regular boiled corn, but I just don't like the sogginess and excess water. The same way boiled lobster, as opposed to steamed or baked, gush out water when you crack into a claw, which I think is kind of nasty. Without a barbeque (or a back yard...or a terrace...or a barbeque...or someone with any of those nearby), I had started wrapping corn in aluminum foil and just cooking it in the oven, like a baked potato but of course for much less time (I guess I could have also just cooked it in it's own husk, but I pictured a burnt-black husk and a big mess in the oven and lots of smoke). This is good too, but i decided to take it to the next step, in my own little makeshift grilled way. You really have to pay attention to the corn in the broiler (the risk of burning) and keep on basting it (I used butter), and rotating it as if it had four sides. It doesn't come out as plump or juicy, but it's quite tasty.

OK. Back to Sunday night pre-work week dread.

My beloved Chico is dead in this box. He died of old age.

Well, I guess if someone's gonna post, it's gonna be me.

I'm doubting they'd find anything like this stuff on the Jersey shore, but who knows?

Boy,

those boys are going to feel bad when they come back to the blog and realize the pain they've inflicted by their pointed absence.

Hello?

Ever get the feeling that everyone's at a wedding that you're not invited to?