Saturday, March 19, 2005

Chicks making out, Joey Pants, and the mob! Should be great, right? Umm....

You know, it's funny that you mention movies Willy, I did in fact see exactly 1 movie from Netflix this month. It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, world.

The movie that I saw was Bound. I know it's pretty old, but I had never gotten around to seeing it. I always figured the Wachowski's were basically professional horny teenage sci-fi fans that never got laid, so I decided to test that theory. Turns out I was right.

I realize that I'm probably the last guy on this board to see this movie, but you're getting a review anyway, cause we need to inject some life into this bitch. In case you didn't it, there are plenty of spoilers, if you want surprise yourself.

Going into it, I thought it was going to be a huge lesbian flick, based on the previews I remember seeing for it when it first came out. And there was a huge lesbian scene about 30 minutes into the movie, but that was it. After that, it become a run-of-mill kill the bad boy husband and try to get away clean flick.

Basically what happens is chick 1 meets chick 2, they have an affair. Chick 1 talks chick 2 into helping her rob her husband and set him up for it. It all goes bad, in various ways, but in they end they pull it off.

That's it, no twist, no nothing. I kept waiting the whole movie for Jennifer Tilly to double cross Gina Gershon, but she never did. I guess it's a combination of the way Jennifer Tilly talks and the way she was always acting completely in control and nearly without emotion. I couldn't believe that even the Wachowski Brothers would be so "plain vanilla". I guess in 1996 the lure of a lesbian relationship was enough to get a crappy picture made, but watching it in 2005 just didn't have any of the same impact. Hell, if I wanna see a smattering of lesbian sex, all I have to do is watch The O.C.

So if you want to see an average mafia double-cross movie with 1 good lesbian scene, check out Bound. If you wanna see a good movie that will actually keep you engaged, go rent something else.