Old but Funny

This afternoon's battle with Procrastination (my arch-nemesis; but we've known each other for so long that we're kind of chummy) had me looking for an old SNL skit. Most of you may have already seen it. But I still laugh every time... Horatio Sanz actually starts to cry.

http://www.jengajam.com/r/Debbie-Downer-SNL

Miracles of modern technology, Vol. 1

MLB.TV! I'm watching the playoffs!

I have to drink the bath water too?

Iggy:

I agree with you wholeheartedly. I have also noticed this blatant disregard for accepted mores. I thought we had all agreed that blotting out was simply not acceptable. It seems to be slowly creeping into being a non-embarrassing act. I, for one, have always held such people in the lowest esteem. I do, however, occasionally hold my pizza slice folded, angled downwards, so that some of the grease will trickle out. For some reason I don't have a problem with this, though I can't really justify it other than to say that at least I'm not wiping off my food with a paper towel.

What about deep-fried foods though? Many recipes have you drain your fried little things on a bed of paper towels when they come out of the pan. Is it ok because the blotting is done by the chef's hands, not the diner's? Does this need to be reconciled with our newly-articulated disdain for the pizza wipers? Or should we begin advocating eating french fries in the oil they're cooked in, like a soup? Chew on that for a while.

Meanwhile:

Aleph. SFJ has some kind instructions for dealing with people like me in the coming days (or, hopefully, weeks).
Bet. John Darnielle has some convenient substitutes for that Joy Division reference you were about to add to your review of the new Interpol album.
Gimmel. Eppy should be Snoop Dogg's new lyricist.

That that is is

Recently, three or four times, I've seen men patting down their pizza slices with napkins. I thought this was an exclusively female response to the orange grease that sits on top of a slice. I never used to see guys doing this. To me, this does not belong to the category of conscientious, healthy living (e.g., looking both ways before crossing), but to the category of the absurd (e.g., wearing earplugs for the squeaking of the subway). At some point, I think you have to accept the world that is around you, and engage the world as it is -- not how you want it to be. If one finds themselves wiping off the oil sitting on their pizza, maybe one should remove their pathetic ass from the pizza parlor, walk to Central Park, pull some grass out of the soil, toss it with olive oil and some beans, and have a grass-sod-bean salad in the shade. Or maybe one should make their own low carb, low cholesterol pizza at home. But just know that pizza is bad for you: it's cheap and high-cholesterol cheese on top of preservative-filled tomato sauce, on top of refined white flour. Maybe your fat ass won't have a second heart attack if you don't eat pizza ok? Just don't come around to my favorite place eating pizza like a big vagina. It just makes you a sad sad man. Have some self-control, porker.