Dog-faced Gremlins

Are golfers athletes? Of course, I'd like to think. But now I'm wondering. The NY Times had a piece on whether the top golfers choose to play the week before the majors -- to rest or to practice.

My favorite golfer, Ernie Els, never plays before the Masters: "I like to be fresh at the Masters because you have to climb all those hills."

Then Davis Love III: "I happen to like this Westchester Country Club course [meaning he does play the Buick Classic at WCC, always a week before the US Open] but the week before the Masters, I don't play Atlanta because the course there is hilly and it can be cold."

How dainty. I'm just a little disappointed that they chose to whine about hills and the temperature. (As opposed to, say, the superhuman mental preparation required for a major.) They're not running these hills. Their pace is leisurely, these hills are really just that -- they're no Kilimanjaros, and lest we forget, they're not carrying their bags. And Love's comment on the cold. Please: how cold is Atlanta in the summer? I've played hilly courses, one time in a mixture of sleet and snow, and of course schlepped my own bag. How can golf get any respect when the best complain about hills and sunny 70 degree weather?

To put all of this into greater relief, a contrapuntal outlook, courtesy of Rasheed Wallace (also from the NY Times): "We're just hungry, just some dog-faced gremlins out there getting down on all fours ready to scrap." That's more like it.