...the fuckin' rake.

So, Tuesday night I went down to gutshot [link fixed, fucko], London's very own private poker club, for their weekly £5 tournament. There were unlimited re-buys for the first hour, so I figured I'd bring £15, if necessary re-buy twice, and when I lost those chips, call it a night. Except I made it through the first hour without going out, in fact turning my 500 chips into 4500. I was playing really tight at first, and was helped out by great luck and great cards (pocket aces twice in the first hour!).

It was actually an amazingly fun night, going from extremes of being intimidated to comfortable to intimidated again. I think I played pretty well, and my luck certainly continued. The tourney started with 102 players and....I finished 7th. In the money (£70)! I actually should have done better. When I sat down at the final table (the last 9 players standing), I had more than a quarter of the total chips. I don't think I played too badly, I was aggressive, playing a bit too many hands, and the blinds at that point were astonishingly high.

My two best hands, emphasising my luck, were:

I had pocket aces. I called the blind, but didn't raise pre-flop (stupidly). Two other callers. Flop comes 2-K-7. Guy to my right bets all-in (he didn't have much left). I call him. We turn our cards over, and he's got K-7, of course. I'm beat by fucking K-7 because I didn't raise pre-flop. Anyway, the turn comes a 10, helping no one. I'm praying for the ace to fall. It doesn't. The river's another 2. Just as I'm ready to watch him take up the chips, someone points out that I've won...the pair of 2s gives me Aces over 2s, beating Kings and 7s, of course.

Later on, with very few chips left, I'm dealt something like A-5 off. I'm big blind, and there are no pre-flop raises. In fact, everyone folds except me and this other guy. Flop comes K-8-7. He checks, and since I feel like I only have enough chips to make one more big move, I bet all I've got, trying to buy the pot. Except he calls me. I'm all-in, so we turn over our cards. He's got a pair of 6s. The turn is another K. Miraculously, the river is another 8! Meaning: you have to use the best 5-card hand out of the seven cards. Therefore, the best hand he can make is K-K-8-8-7, while I can make K-K-8-8-A! You can't have 3 pairs! Thank god those paired boards.

My last hand of the night:

Basically, the blinds go up every 20 minutes. We're at the final table, two guys have already gone out. The blinds are 3000-6000. I had just folded my small blind, and was down to about 13000 chips. I looked up at the board and saw there was 4 minutes left until the blinds went up to 4500-9000. I had no choice. I had to make a move before the big blind (by then, 9000) came around to me. Two hands later, I look at my cards and find two queens. OK, that'll do. Guy in a red sox hat to my right raises the 6000 big blind all in, as he only has 4000 left on top of that. I call the 10000, and raise all-in, chucking in my remaining 3000. Everyone else folds, except the grizzled old veteran across the table, who calls. Three of us then, and we turn our cards over. Red Sox has A-7 off, nothing to worry about. But the geezer has two kings. Fuck. Now all I can do is watch. And prey.

Flop comes. No help to any of us. Nor the turn, nor the river. Just a bunch of low cards and a Jack, I think. And a pair of Kings still beats a pair of Queens. Except (except!), the guy next to me notices that there are 4 spades on the board, and one of my queens is a spade, giving me the flush! But then (and this was actually pretty hilarious) virtually the whole table turns their eyes to the geezer's cards, only to discover that one of his Kings is a spade. He's got the better flush. But, oh no (and you can see this one coming), we all then turn our heads towards the red sox, who, of course, has the Ace of spades. All of this happened within about 2 seconds. Anyway I lost. But at least I didn't lose to that crusty old fuck with 2 kings.

My girlfriend's out of town and there's a £10 tournament tonight. Guess who's going?